Very Sad News

On Tuesday, May 10th, my 14-year-old cousin, Kailey, lost her battle against Leukemia. She was diagnosed earlier this year - in late August or early September - and fought with all her might. I have been particularly touched by the loss of Kailey and I wanted to take some time to share what has been on my mind.

It's important to first know that, despite being related, Kailey and I didn't know each other well. She was born the 27th grandchild in our large Wilmarth family, of which I am the 5th. Needless to say, there were a few cousins in between us, along with about 17 years of life, and over 180 miles between our home towns. Given all of these factors, I can honestly name very few memories that I have of us together.

But, as I said before, I've been particularly touched by Kailey's tragic death. I have found myself circling through the many different "hats" that I wear (or have worn) in my life. For example, when I put on my mom hat, I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to lose my wonderful, innocent, joyful Julia. Just the thought makes me get choked up. As a sister, I can't imagine losing Jen, DeAnna, Roxy, Barry, or Justin. As an aunt, I can't imagine watching Luke, Zack, Cade, MaKayla, Logan, Noah, Dylan, or Abigail go through a horrible illness like Leukemia. As a once-14-year-old girl, I can't imagine losing one of my 14-year-old friends. And the list goes on. Just thinking about all of these possibilities and then realizing that my family members are experiencing it in real life is devastating to me.

It is difficult to understand, in moments like these, how the world works. Why do bad things happen to good people? How can death come to the young and innocent like this? And all I keep coming back to is this: Kailey's death has touched so many and her battle through this illness has inspired them. Since she became sick, people have participated in runs, come together to pray and be in community with others, purchased hundreds of t-shirts and other "Kailey's Krew" gear to show their support, and just recently, a team formed to walk in and fund raise for Relay for Life.

And, so far, this is what I have been able to understand as a result of Kailey's death: that sometimes one person can teach others about the value of life, family, and service by being willing to share their journey, however difficult, with a caring community and - through that act - bring them together. It is through her death that Kailey has encouraged her friends, family members, teachers, coaches - and even people she never even knew - to go beyond themselves and give freely, generously, and lovingly. And, although this doesn't help me to understand why, it is helping me to see something positive in this terrible situation.

I am so sad about the loss of Kailey. And I can't imagine the difficult journey that my aunt, uncle, and cousins have embarked upon and will continue without Kailey here; however, I will remember her always and I have a feeling that many, many other people feel the same way.